Between Hope & Heartbreak
by justareader13
Summary: Henry and Killian have a conversation concerning the events of the last few days and Henry gives an angsty Hook hope. Captain Cobra with captain swan and captain charming undertones.


**The beginning of this is a lot of Hook angst. He's been really angsty and grumpy but don't worry it gets lighter and more hopeful.**

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Killian sat at the desk in his room at Granny's bed and breakfast staring at a wall wondering how his life became this: being in a constant state of fluctuating between hope and heartache. He was no stranger to heartache. He'd felt it when his mother died, when his father abandoned him, when Liam died, when Milah died, when he lost Bae and more recently when Neal died but with Emma it was different. Half the time he was with her he felt his breaking in two and the other half it was knitting back together stronger than it was the last time he had let her break it. However, this time he didn't think she could fix it.

They didn't believe him, none of the Charmings did. He wasn't as hurt at her majesty's disbelief. They weren't as close as he was with her husband and her daughter and he knew that given the choice with the limited knowledge she knew, Queen Snow would've preferred Emma be with Neal rather than him but he thought they were reaching an understanding. David's disbelief hurt, he thought they were friends. He thought that David would have his back as Hook had his, he would've believed David but then again David was a Prince with a pure heart and Hook was a pirate whose heart he let be corrupted by darkness and the thirst for vengeance. Perhaps he was a fool to believe that the prince would take up for him with Emma.  
Emma.

Hook sighed and got up from the desk moving to the side drawer where two picture frames stood. In one frame was a picture of himself, David and Robin enjoying drinks at the Rabbit Hole and in the other was him, Emma and Henry sitting in a booth at Granny's smiling widely at the camera. He picked up the second picture smiling sadly at it while his finger traced Emma's face.

He understood why she didn't believe him. Of course he did. Like she said, they understood each other. They were of a kind, two sides of the same coin. She didn't believe him for the same reason she left him on that beanstalk: she didn't want to take the chance that she's wrong about him. She's still afraid, despite what she said about the past, of letting it go, of letting herself love him and he knew it and he blew it. He shouldn't have lied. He shouldn't have tried to send Henry away, he didn't have the right. He should've asked for help but 300 years of looking out for yourself because you don't have anyone else to look out for you is a hard habit to break. He should've trusted them, and he did trust them but he also wanted to protect them and he couldn't be the reason Emma lost her magic or her family.

He already felt guilty about killing Blackbeard instead of helping Ariel find her husband. He already felt guilty about letting Bae leave the hospital and walk straight to his death, though he knew that was inevitable and not his fault, he felt guilty. He still felt guilty that Milah died and he couldn't save her. He still felt guilty that he couldn't save Liam or his mother. He felt guilty that apparently he wasn't enough for him and his father left him and he felt guilty that he was enough for Milah and she left her son like his father left him. Hell, he still felt guilty for shooting Belle and everything else he'd done to her on his quest for vengeance. He had too much guilt, he didn't need to feel guilt for Emma loosing such an essential part of who she was, whether that be through her magic or her family, he just couldn't.

It was a moot point though because Emma was now another part of his guilty, another chink in his armor, another crack in heart. He felt guilty for lying to her and proving to her that she couldn't trust him, that she was wrong about him: he wasn't worth it. Hadn't that been the whole point of all the experiences in his life? Hadn't that been what the cosmos and the gods were trying to beat into his head? His own parents didn't love him enough to stay, why would anyone else love him? Admittedly his mother didn't have a choice but she still left, she was gone just like Liam and Milah and his father and now Emma and David too. He lost everyone and it was his own fault.

Killian's head snapped up as the handle on his door began jiggling. It only took him a second to realize someone was picking the lock and trying to get in. He grabbed his sword belt off the back of the desk chair and unsheathed it before standing in the corner behind the door to surprise whoever this intruder was. He didn't know if a sword would do much on the Wicked Witch but the element of surprised never hurt and maybe he could do some damage to the woman who caused him such trouble. Another minute passed before the lock mechanism clicked and the intruder turned the knob before opening the door. Hook waited until they had stepped further into the room before jumping out and holding his sword to their neck. The intruder yelped and it only took Killian another second to realize who it was.

"Henry?" He said in surprise, immediately putting down his sword.

"Whoa, all of you are really tense. Not that I blame you, Mary-Margeret's baby was just kidnapped." Henry commented, closing the door to Killian's room before walking further inside and sitting on the bed.

"What are you doing here lad? Do your mothers know you're here?" Hook said with a heavy sigh.

"Well, I haven't seen you since my mom's true love's kiss worked. I heard you were attacked by those monkey things while Mary Margaret was giving birth, I wanted to make sure you were okay. My mom—I mean Emma, not Regina- she didn't say much about what happened to you." Henry explained. He was still trying to figure out who to call mom or what he should do in that respect, they were both his mother but calling them both mom would get confusing. Maybe he could do something like in "Coraline" and call one of them 'other mother'. But who would be that be?

_Ugh, my life is so confusing but I wouldn't give it up for anything. Not even New York._ Henry thought.

"So what's going on? Everyone acts weird when I mention you and you're acting weird now. You've been quieter too."

"It's…" Hook sighed before sitting next to Henry on his bed.

"It's complicated, lad."

"My grandmother just gave birth to my uncle who was kidnapped by my aunt because she wants to go back in time so she can kill my great grandmother so my other grandmother doesn't give her up and if she gets her way both my mothers will never have been born which means I won't have been born either. I'm up to my neck in complicated, Killian." Henry deadpanned. Killian smirked a bit.

"Aye lad, you may have a point. And you… you called me Killian."

"Well, that is your name. Unless you were lying about that."

"No that's my real name. My mother didn't name me Hook."

"Good to know, then again my dad's real name is Baelfire so I won't judge but we're getting off topic. What's happening? I want you guys to stop lying to me already, I deserve the truth." Henry said, with a desperate glint in his eyes. They were eyes that reminded Killian so much of Bae, and subsequently Milah, that it physically hurt. He couldn't deny those eyes no matter whose face they were set in. He sighed before taking that plunge.

"You're right, Henry. You deserve the truth, all of it." He sighed again before turning his body to Henry's and Henry did the same while looking at the pirate expectantly.

"I kept an important secret from your mother and David and… well everyone. Zelena cursed me, cursed my lips so if… if I kissed Emma I would take away her magic. Your mother's magic is the only thing that can defeat Zelena. I knew that, I thought I'd just tell and it'd be fine but she said if I did that she'd start killing Emma's family starting with you. I already fail Baelfire more than once, I couldn't let his son die. I couldn't let Emma lose you but I didn't want to take her magic so I didn't say anything. I went to Belle and got books to read through but I couldn't find anything. I was stalling, Zelena knew it, so she told me she would come after you. I got scared. I… I couldn't stop thinking of shoveling dirt over Neal's casket and what it would do to everyone if you died, what I would do knowing that it was my fault, so when I found you trying to run away I thought it was an answer to at least one of my troubles. I was going to send you back to New York with Smee. Zelena found out of course because she's got eyes everywhere. The point is, that wasn't my decision to make. Your safety was something your mothers should've talked about and agreed on and that would've happened if I had spoken up." Hook then smiled at Henry but the boy could see the innate sadness in it.

"I'm a pirate, lad. It's all I'll ever be, all anyone will ever see me as and I can't blame them for that. I've done horrible things, even this past year I've done dishonorable things to people who didn't deserve it." Hook looked down shaking his head as he thought of Ariel and her words that he could be a hero and his actions which threw those words back in her face, he truly wished she knew how sorry he was.

"Regina was right. I'm a villain and villains don't get happy endings."

"You're wrong." Henry said sternly prompting Killian to look up at him.

"You're not a villain, you're human and humans make mistakes. Yes, you should've told someone, you should've trusted them. No, you should've tried to send me away without talking to Emma or Regina but I was gonna run away anyway and you're not the only person in Storybrooke to make mistakes. My mom has made mistakes, both of them have, and they still deserve happy endings. Mr. Gold has made a lot of mistakes too but he found true love with Belle and he got to spend time with his son before he died, he found him again which was all he wanted. Even Mary Margaret has made mistakes and she's supposed to be an example of all that's good in the world. You made mistakes but I know you regret it and I know you're a good guy, you deserve a happy ending too… even if it's with my mom—I mean Emma again, god I need to get that straight." Henry answered passionately, mumbling the last sentence causing Killian to chuckle a little.

"I know you love Emma, I know you're in love with her. A blind man can see that. I know she has feelings for you too."

"Henry—"

"It's okay, I just want her to be happy and she's happy with you. I know true love when I see it."

"We're not true love. I tried true love's kiss in New York, it didn't work."

"True love's kiss doesn't work if one of you doesn't remember the other. The same thing happened with Snow White and Prince Charming, she didn't remember him and when he tried true love's kiss it didn't work, she ended up punching him." Henry paused and let this information sink in.

"It doesn't change the fact that I withheld information from them."

"Yeah you did and they all did the same to me. They lied to me continuously for the past few weeks, it would kind of be hypocritical of them to expect me to forgive them if they won't forgive you."

"Henry, they lied to protect you." Killian said, in the Charmings' defense.

"What's the difference in you lying then? You lied to protect the people you love, your family. They did the same thing."

"I don't have a family lad, not anymore." Killian said, holding back the emotion in his voice as the back of his eyes began burning.

"But you could, here, with us. You could be a part of something, it's not too late. We can all stop Zelena, together, as a family and that includes you." Killian looked at Henry with watery eyes as he smiled a bit and nodded at the captain. Hook found himself smiling back, hope swelling in his heart before suddenly a green haze flashed over Henry and he was no longer sitting next to Killian but was standing by the door with one of Zelena's arms around his neck and the other holding a dagger over Henry's pulse.

There it was again, that damn cycle of hope and heartache but this time he was leaning more towards hope and he honestly didn't mind all that much.


End file.
